Sometime in late September my sweet wife and I will begin to travel together to an outpatient physical rehabilitational campus. Amy will be taught how to stand. Somewhere in the process she will begin to learn to walk. As time passes – we are not certain how much time – she will regain the skills that were once second nature to her and victory will be granted as her physical abilities fully return. But before she can walk she has to learn to stand. What Amy is seeking to master in the physical realm, I’m seeking to master in the spiritual. After more than seventeen years of walking with Christ, God is teaching me what it means to stand.
After a difficult day yesterday with several layers of challenging news coming my way, I found myself in the old familiar place of being potentially overwhelmed. I’m still only able to work two full days each week in the office and yesterday was the first day in many months wherein God saw fit to entrust me with some rapid fire ministerial challenges. By His grace I handled those moments as a Christian should. I listened, acknowledged the realities of each challenge, prayed, made Spirit-tempered decisions and welcomed God’s strength to manifest through my own weakness. There was no fussing, fretting, fighting, resenting or despairing…I simply looked to God and trusted that He was aware, involved and on-task as my loving Father above. When I got home and my mind was still swirling, I started sensing some less-than-stellar thoughts seeking to take root. I wasn’t worried…it was worse. I was wearied. I thought to myself that I simply am not up to more challenges in my life right now and discovered that my mind was not looking for answers from God but, rather, an escape plan from Him. It was the old “make it go away, God” mantra that kept being amplified in my head. I left the place where I was thinking and sat down and began to read in the Psalms because I knew I could find some sympathy there. Interestingly, I never encountered the sympathy I was seeking. I found something better. I found instruction.
“You gave a wide place for my steps under me, and my feet did not slip.” – Psalm 18:36 {ESV}
Wow, what a novel concept! The glorious God of heaven would leave me right where I was standing but cause me to become stable as He refused to let me slip and fall. Gee, why had it not occurred to me that God was going to be faithful? The worst place for any of us to hunker down is the soft, soggy bog of self-pity. I’m usually immune to this because I made up my mind a long time ago that I deserve nothing and that anything above death and hell is God’s grace. Somehow, though, yesterday’s ratt-a-tatt-tatt on my mind left me vulnerable to a self-focus. King David’s words from Psalm 18 above were written when He was in overwhelming circumstances. He made it through (not around) the things which challenged him. He had his wits kept by some endowment of grace and now he looked back and praised God for making the skinny ledge he was teetering on become a wide place under his feet. David learned to stand. So will I…not for the first time…likely not for the last.
Thank you, God, for knowing my limits and ordaining circumstances that force me to go beyond those limits. Thank you for doing the same in the lives of those who are reading this today. Thank you that You are not content to leave us un-stretched and untested. We see Your care for us more clearly when the backdrop is dark and difficult. Please empower us to remain set for Your glory more than we are determined for our own relief. If You refuse us our escape, we testify that we are confident that there will be ample grace provided for us to endure and triumph. We do not doubt Your goodness, God. We doubt our own strength in spite of how certain we have been in the past. We taste the humility You are serving us and, with each bite, we are gaining strength for the journey. Be glorified in the midst, Father. Forgive our temptation to lie down when You are seeking to teach us how to stand.
This blog posting touched my heart. While I can only imagine the depth of the challenges you both will face, I can sense a shadow of that in my life. I have been blessed with many spiritual as well as earthly blessings, and am still learning how to trust Christ. I will pray for your wife’s recovery and for the strength God will give you both.
Bless your heart! I am still learning to stand trusting God with my life. I pray every day to give myself to Him.
Life is tough but God is faithful.
Jeff, Your prayer was also for me. I lost some very valueable items when we were on our trip last week..
I first was in a panic and then I remembered that God was not surprised as I was…so if he
wishes the lost will be found or if not I can live without them.
I know your feeling and along with our prayers for Amy’s healing we are praying for the uplifting of your spirits. God allows nothing to overwhelm you as you keep your eyes on Him.
Elmer and I care very deeply for you and do not mean to “preach” to you. I hope you know that.
We care very deeply for you and Amy too!
I’ve been reading Psalms and Proverbs for the past year and I continue to learn and be fed each time through. The emotions, trials, triumphs, errors, sins of David and the sustaining grace, blessings and forgiveness of God give me a peace that I do not deserve. But I am definitely thankful for it! This is a season of stretching for me. The difference from previous seasons such as this is a deeper spiritual foundation and a confidence rooted in faith that God does want the best for me. He will provide. And all of this is only a prelude to the ultimate prize! Yeah baby!!!!