Every now and then God will nudge me to go back and read some journal entries from previous chapters in my journeying with Jesus. The first time I began to journal as a Christian was shortly after I was saved in 1994. Right around the time I became the senior pastor at Meadow I began to get a little more methodical in my approach to writing. The benefit of journaling is that you can give God praise for answered prayers over the years and also that you should be able to note progress in your development as a disciple. One of the drawbacks to journaling is that it is a written record of seasons of immaturity, spiritual-shortsightedness and ignorance. It can be like looking at your kindergarten picture and seeing missing teeth, messy hair and mismatched socks. Sometimes, though, you come across something you wrote back then that speaks to you right now. This happened to me when I read this excerpt from an entry six years ago. I’ll leave it with you today so that we can consider the mystery of prayer together.
“Today is dedicated to quietness for me. I told my wife and the pastoral staff at Meadow that I will withdraw today and for them not to take it personally if I seem aloof. I need to meditate and engage in purposed prayer. Frankly, I need some answers from God. Not affirmation, not encouragement, not insight……..I need some clear answers. Isn’t the reality of prayer somewhat a mystery at times? God invites us, even commands us, to become part of an equation that we do not fully comprehend when it comes to praying. We believe in His absolute sovereignty and that He is the grand weaver and orchestrator of all things, in every place, with all people at all times. I am fully aware that when I pray God already knows all things. Yet God commands me to speak with Him, to hear from Him, to trust Him and to obey Him. He compels me in His word to pour out my heart to Him, to become part of the prayer-equation which He alone fully comprehends. Sometimes the equation results in addition – when God adds something to our existence. Other times, through the process of prayer, God subtracts from us, taking something from our souls or our lives which is ultimately unprofitable (or less profitable than something else He intends to add in its vacancy). There are still other times where God intends to divide us; in this He lets us retain a portion of something while removing another portion of that same thing as He gives it to another. Our favorite equation to be a part of is when God deems it proper to multiply us as He blesses us to make us more than we were before, and in a way that is far greater than mere addition. He is calling me to the participate in the grand equation today and I have no clue as to which type of equation it will be. Believers of every generation have entered this same process with God – making time with Him, speaking words to Him, listening for Him and then acting on what they discern from the invisible God who is not seen but regularly heard. I have learned no longer to wrestle with how the human element and the Divine prerogative dovetail with each other when it comes to inner workings of prayer. I’m just not that smart so I leave that to the more astute theologians of our day. I, instead, will simply obey the Lord and pour out my heart to Him and wait to see what He does. I am confident that He always hears me…and that He answers at the precise moment He deems best.”
Enter the prayer-equation today. Don’t overcomplicate it. Don’t be careful with your words. Talk to Him. Leave the math to Him because He is the only one who really gets how it works. Just pray because He loves it when we do this.