Every December and January, churches experience a strange phenomenon: whether real or imaginary, it seems that God chooses this time of year to move people in and out of congregations. It’s the annual new-church itch. I’ve been in vocational local church ministry for more than 15 years and I’ve learned to expect 2 things in December and January: an influx of new people coming to our church and a handful of others feeling “led of The Lord” to move on from our church. Here’s some thoughtful counsel from Curtis Thomas we should all consider when wondering, “Should I stay or should I go?”
1. We must check our motives very carefully.
2. Our reasons must be well grounded and clearly articulated.
3. We must be in regular, earnest prayer about the matter.
4. We must guard our tongues very carefully.
5. We must be extremely careful that we do not unnecessarily create unrest in other members.
6. Our discussions with the leadership must be characterized by love.
7. Our attempts to correct matters must be with great respect, care and patience.
8. If our concern is over personal preferences, rather than biblical matters, we must consider others’ interests more important than ours.
9. Great care should be taken that we submit to the leadership of the church, unless we determine with proper counsel that there is a serious biblical issue at stake.
10. If the leadership will listen, we need to give them plenty of time to consider the matter.
11. If the leadership will not listen to us, or will not take proper action to correct the matter and we are thoroughly convinced that there is a serious biblical issue, we should ask for a meeting of the church in which to express our concerns.
12. We should ask ourselves what we have personally done to correct any wrong or deficiency in the church with which we are concerned.
13. We should evaluate if our leaving would do harm to an otherwise good church.
14. We should never leave, nor encourage others to leave, unless we are thoroughly convinced that one or both of the following conditions exist: 1) that the church has become an apostate church (where serious unbiblical teaching or practices are allowed), or 2) that we are convinced that, over the long haul, we cannot find a place to serve in the church, or that our families will not be spiritually fed in that body.
Written by Curtis Thomas
Life in the Body of Christ, Founders Press, 2006, p. 228-229, www.founderspress.org