Praying to, waiting for and trusting in God always carries with it a felt element of risk. When we do these things consistently we are surrendering our sense of control. We move out of the captain’s seat. We humble ourselves in recognition of our limitations and invite God to come and superintend over us and the thing for which we are asking. There are times when we do so with a sense of relief and confidence, grateful to turn troubling matters over to Him. Other times we reluctantly release our presumed grip on a situation and lay it before God with a sense of dread, an uncomfortable foreboding and a less-than-enthusiastic concern over how things will work themselves out. When God is quiet and still as we grow in desperate need to hear Him and see Him move…our confidence sometimes wobbles. We want to control the outcome but we know we cannot control God. He leaves us powerless and our faith tells us that this is necessary but now we find ourselves having to work through that thorny patch of distrust. Yes, I said it: we sometimes fail to retain our belief that God is supremely good and we can grow defeated in our suspicion of what He is going to do with our prayers.
“O Lord, how long shall I cry for help, and You will not hear?” – Habakkuk 1:2 {ESV}
“Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry come to You! Do not hide Your face from me in the day of my distress! Incline Your ear to me; answer me speedily in the day when I call!” – Psalm 102:1-2 {ESV}
“Though I call and cry for help, He shuts out my prayer.” – Lamentations 3:8 {ESV}
The reason why I listed the verses above is simple and helpful. We see, right there in our bibles, are preserved words of doubt, struggle and skepticism from other children of God. He did not edit them out of His Word but actually deposited them within that sacred book. He ensures that we have opportunity to know that our struggle is not unique and not necessarily an indicator that we are some form of spiritual lameness. Habakkuk, God’s prophet, wonders aloud why the Lord doesn’t do something to remedy injustice. The Psalmist, perhaps it is King David, demands of the Lord to show His face and not to pull away in the hour of his need. In Lamentations, Jeremiah is much bolder and speaks words that you and I are too pious to proclaim when he says that God is shot-blocking his prayers back down to the earth. If two prophets and a king who were intimately acquainted with God could reach places of stark doubt and dread in their hearts, should we be surprised when we find ourselves also there?
So what do we do with unanswered prayers? There are several choices of how to respond when God seems to be denying you what you are asking of Him. First of all, you can stop praying if you choose. That will protect you from the disappointment of asking further and hazarding a non-affirming response from your Maker. It will insulate you from what do with the messy reality that comes about if you do not receive what you were asking. Secondly, you could change your heartfelt petitions until they no longer communicate what your heart desires; this happens when we continue to offer prayers but they become blunted and non-specific as we move from our original burdened desire into some soupy, religiously murky form of petition. This type of prayer is little more than a spiritual shrug and giving in to the whatever will be, will be mantra. I have been one who has responded in both of these ways when it seems to me that God is not listening. In more recent days I have been brought to the place where I just keep praying. I remain steadfast in the activity of prayer and welcome God to free me from from all the barbs of my doubts and fears, even as I offer the very words which frame the prayers. I work through my struggles as if they were outside of me trying to get in instead of within me trying to dictate what happens on the outside. God has released me to speak frankly with Him and not to feign some dignified approach to Him as I suppress the groaning of my heart. There are days when I am blunt and real, as were the saints in our bibles, and I refuse to be polite and quaint as if I were writing some fairytale. I am often reminded that He is my Father and not some stuffy diplomat who has no time to trifle with the likes of me. Then…I must come to the place wherein I recognize that, though my prayers do not change Him, they do immensely help me. Through prayer, I am made to come to the end of myself repeatedly and find Him unchanging and unchangeable. He welcomes me to (even wants me to?) retain my steadfastness in praying. He, according to James 1:5, will give me wisdom whenever I am ignorant and will not reproach nor upbraid me for coming to Him with faith that is not stellar nor exemplary. The worst thing I could do with unanswered prayers is too walk away in doubt. One of the best things I can do is to pray through my fears. Go ahead and doubt for a while, but do not walk away with them. Let God bring definition to your dilemma as you rehearse your doubts before Him with raw honesty. In time, those very doubts will give way to clarity and you will be very glad you asked the Almighty the tough questions.
He has heard them all before and never once shooed the asker away. May He hear your voice again today whether it is trumpeting or trembling…keep asking. This is what we must do with unanswered prayers.
I prayed this morning more like you suggested.
It felt REAL. Since He knows the desires of my heart, my former prayers seemed dishonest in light of what I read here.
It is important to me to not pretend with humans – sorta arrogant of me to pretend with God.
Thank you so much, as sometimes I get discouraged and doubt myself in regard to prayer. I realize I just need to persvere.
Guilty in the past weeks, it does not hurt as bad as we let go of the hope and stop asking. I was thinking since it is his will; I did take on that mentality of “what will be will be” as after all, again…its his will. After all, He allowed the trials in our life and He knows and controls the outcome.
I do have doubts and I will lay them before Him and pray they will give way to clarity.