The best fight I ever ended was with my childhood friend, Scott. I was a punk and probably about 10 years old when Scott finally had enough of me mouthing off about something. Somehow we started getting into it and he was much bigger than me and taught me that my vocabulary was much stouter than my pugilistic skills. Before long, Scott had me pinned in our neighbor’s front yard with my wrists up above my head, firmly held by his meaty paws. I was spent and could not move anything but my head as the fight was now over for all intents and purposes. Yet being the resourceful fifth grader that I was, I decided to attempt my last maneuver: I strained my head forward and was able to get just close enough to his body which was leaning forward over me to sink my teeth into one of his pectoral muscles and bit down as hard as I could. He was certainly tougher than me but sharp teeth sinking into your chest will turn any boy into a screeching cat. Scott quickly let go of my wrists and got up off of me so I sprinted home with no small satisfaction that I had won bragging rights about our little scrapping session that day. I learned at a young age to use anything I could to win the contest. Nothing like the smugness of emerging victorious from a fight.
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” – Romans 12:18
Fifth graders rumbling in the front yard is a rite of passage for most boys. It’s normal and, perhaps, even a healthy part of cultivating masculinity. However, some people never grow out of their quest for a fight and are always looking for a conflict to enter. This is a facet of relationships that I have witnessed across the board – male, female, young, old, believer, non-believer… some people just love to fight. Some of you reading are one of those people and you have become quite good at winning. That is not likely a good thing for your relationships so the verse above needs to receive a little more air-time in our culture today. Maybe it is just me but it seems that we are becoming a little more pugnacious. Everyone has a Master’s Degree in the fine arts of drawing lines in the sand and daring others to cross them. Social media allows for written jabs to fly at a high rate from the cover of one’s home or office. Blogs provide forums for us to vent about anything and everything and many a sucker-punch has been landed through people with the gift of sarcasm, hostility, intolerance and judgmentalism. The realm of Christianity is not immune to this – in fact, flagrant violations of biblical principles occur under the banner of self-appointed spokespersons for Christ airing their thoughts in ways that are clearly a summons for those who disagree to step into the ring and start swinging. Today I am happy to say that God will deliver you from this if you so desire. If you are tired of fighting then God will endorse your desire to retire. You don’t have to keep disturbing the peace simply because you have a differing viewpoint. Yes, it’s true: the world can carry on without you giving a rebuttal.
My life (and likely yours too) does not afford me enough time to continue to indiscriminately fight. Occasionally, when the stakes are high, I will go public with my position on some hot-potato that’s being pitched about. Most of the time I just extricate myself from the process and let others with more energy duke it out. What I am learning is that the law of supply and demand has taken over the spectrum of public dialogue. What does the law of supply and demand teach us? The more there is of a substance, the less value it has. When it comes to your and my opinion, the more we offer it, the less it is worth. It may sound harsh but I am concluding these days that few people truly listen to most of us anyway. We seem to only hear noise when others are communicating and when there is a pause in that noise, we begin to offer our richly weighted insights that we are sure will serve to enlighten the unwashed masses. Funny, it just sounds like more noise to those we are seeking to sway. We are bees buzzing in a hive that seems to be growing smaller and producing much less honey than it could. If you have an opinion on everything and choose to give it simply because it is there, mark it down, you are losing credibility and should consider cultivating the ability to hush.
I communicate for a living. It’s my calling. Lately, I do not have as much to say because I realize that somebody is likely to offer me the exact opposite view as soon as I am done. People love to debate, critique, examine, amplify, counter, demand and, yes, fight. I used to be that person but I am over it now. You may see me sitting ringside while others throw their opinionated jabs but I am committed to saving my voice for things which matter most. Truthfully, I am hoping to reverse the law of supply and demand as it pertains to my own communication: less bulk, higher value. A very wise king said it this way nearly three millennia ago:
“Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few.” – the words of Solomon in Ecclesiastes 5:2
My words are few but they are meant to be encouraging. I loved this blog.