This morning I thank You for something which has never entered my mind before: this morning, I thank You that You are not a begrudging Savior. We want to be good to You, but we will never, in this lifetime, be as good to You as we should. Your Holy Spirit impacted me hard this morning with the realization that You are always far better to me than I am to You.
Yet, You do not begrudge me for this.
You do not stand afar.
You do not walk away angry.
You do not yell at me, telling me just how ungrateful I am sometimes – how that You do not receive from me and adequate response for who You are to me, and what you do for me.
Neither do You pounce on me when I find it so easy to begrudge others in my own heart.
Lord Jesus, You are always here with me. You neither guilt nor shame me by constantly reminding me of just how much better You are to me than I am to You. Most of the time, I just sense Your unconditional love, Your relentless faithfulness, Your constant willingness to continue on with me, as You work out Your plan for me.
Thank You for not smoldering with me. Thank you for not muttering Your dissatisfaction under Your breath while you slowly wag Your head in frustration with me. Thank You for keeping my struggles between You and me, instead of allowing all of them to be fully observed by those who are not near as gracious as You are. Thank You for loving me enough to come near to me, look me in the eye, and remind me that I was twice-born for something more than slowly meandering through my life. Thank You, King, for calling me out of the cozy shire, and taking me on a Gandolfesque adventure with You.
You are immeasurably patient.
You never seem to be in the same hurry with me that I am with myself and others.
You are the never-rushed, never-rattled, always-calm Shepherd of frazzled sheep, among whom I often feel the most frazzled.
Most of all, I just want to give You thanks for not dealing with me according to my merit (or demerit). Thank You for being – dare I pray it – my Friend. You are my God, my Master, my Lord and my Savior.
But today, You whispered to me that You are my Friend. You made me cry with that treasured word. When You said it, I immediately realized that it was what I felt that I needed most today.
Thank you, Jesus, for not being a begrudging Savior. Thank You for being my faithful Friend.