What a strange Sunday morning. My alarm went off early as it always does on the Lord’s Day. When it did so, I soon recognized that this time of rising from bed would be the lone component of normalcy on this Sunday. I did not wake up next to my precious wife because she now sleeps in a hospital bed in our den. Walking by my children’s bedrooms, I did not pause to look in on them because their Saturday evenings and rising on Sunday mornings are now spent with some dear friends who bring them to church with them. You see, I am not able to be home to get them ready myself due to my preaching duties at our early service. For a season, their mother cannot get them ready as she has faithfully done for the entirety of their young lives. Amy is injured, I am absent so others have come alongside us to stand in the gap. Sunday mornings are now…different.
There will be no marathon Sunday afternoon wherein I exit the pulpit, whisk my family away to eat lunch, return to my office to edit audio and video for the websites and brush up on the Sunday evening message. There will be no counseling or planning meetings squeezed in. I’d be dishonest if I said that those jam-packed Sundays didn’t leave me wholly fulfilled. The Lord’s day used to begin at 3:15 AM for me and continue until I would finally re-enter my home at day’s end around 8:30 PM. I felt like I was making a difference, reclaiming surrendered Kingdom ground, investing what I had to offer into people who came hungry and eager to learn and grow.
These precious things had somehow become a little too important to me. God is changing that in these days of His new ways for my life.
My anchor cannot be my sweet Amy, as much as I love her. And, my, do I love her. Words fail me to express how much I want my life to impact Alicia and Landon…but they, nor my investment in them, are not what is to keep me grounded. The teaching ministry entrusted to me is nothing short of my life’s work in God’s Kingdom. Yet this work can never become my purpose or my reason for being. All of these treasured components of my life must have their proper place and it is my responsibility to ensure that they never gain too much of my focus or dependence. I am to consistently learn that my security, my confidence, my anchor is in the God of all grace. If that seems to simplistic to you, beware, you may be in need of the lessons being re-taught to me in these days.
I am to rest in Jesus alone. Because of this great need in my life I am able to thank God today that I am unable to lean upon Amy. It should be noted that I am taking great delight in having her lean on me in these days. My gratitude is needed toward God for not allowing me to be the primary caregiver to my two children right now. I will trust His work through others in their little lives. God will enable me to give my best in the pulpit twice this morning. But another will stand in my stead tonight to feed this flock whom I greatly love. Still another will provide the spiritual nourishment on this coming Wednesday evening when I cannot serve in my pastoral capacity. God be praised that I will learn again that work for the King must never replace worship of the King. It seems that I need to get reacquainted with my Anchor.
May I worship Him in this season of change. If I am to be still when I am more adept at running, may I regain the ability to rest in Him. To be the giver is my desire – God has said No to that heart-wish. He will be the Giver and I will learn to receive. May I praise Him with my open and empty hands. Let all the corrosive pride which eats away my absolute trust in Him be pruged from me. If I cannot stand and must experience the gravitational pull of my own weakness…
I will not
forever
fall.
My Anchor
holds.
Brother Jeff -= I just want you to know how blessed I have been by your teachings these past few weeks. I did not know who you were until a short time ago – but because of the accident I have begin to follow your blog and the last two Sunday mornings in a row I have listened to your sermons on the TV. What a blessing you have been to me. I am so hungry for the gospel – so hungry to be ministered to… I am a single lady who strugles daily with lonliness and for the past several years have struggled with church memebership . struggled with not being in a church where I can serve, struggles with being in a church where i am not accepted and loved.
Deborah’s passing has served as a way for me to look more closely at what it is that I need to be doing as a Christian to enable myself to walk closer with the Lord.
My prayers are with you and your family daily –
Pastor Jeff…I have known you for over 15 years and have watched you grow and mature as a wonderful young preacher boy to a masterful excelling wiser pastor. Your relationship with the Lord is so evident in all you exclaim of your experiences and your love for service and following of our Father…just as you teach OUR relationship to be with Him. You beg with tears streaming down your cheeks..”please read God’s Word” and yet some do not..you urge with your hand to your heart and knees to the floor before the Throne..”please talk to the Lord and listen to what He wants to tell you” and yet some do not. It always makes my own heart hurt and moisture from my own eyes when I see and hear our pastor have to “beg” for our own delight and growth in service to our KIng. And, I say all that to say this.. I so well can invision what is happening in your life changes now…I know that type bed Amy must rest in now very well.. I know every button and arrow points on it. I know tthe extent of the wound care and the dressings and the sterile techniques the nurse or perhaps even you must maintain.. I know the feelings that must muster from your soul when you awake alone and the absence of your children and the abnormality that besets your precious family and you and to top it off the loss of Deborah. Even though I know you are attempting to look at all this as in “the Lord’s nail pierced hands” and surely it is.. I still have to let it go from my heart …” I am so SORRY for what is happening all around and you and your family.. I feel the hurt and the questions from your life yet I see and hear the praise and the trust in your Lord. Listen quietly in your silent moments and you will hear the rustling of angel wings as they obey the voice of the Master…and the thumping of your heart is the love you feel for the precious Lord Jesus. He is so wonderful ..so lovely…so sweet..It is because of Him we can get through this together as we pray and praise Him give our hands and hearts and our service to our Saviour. May the Lord bless you and keep you..may His face shine upon you..
Dear Pastor Jeff,
I have been in a somewhat, but not quite similar, situation as yours few years ago when my wife had her first knee replacement, when the postoperative course was not easy.One time in hospital I broke into tears infront of my older daughter who was visiting to give us support .I said I wished I would go to be with Jesus and that made her weep too.I now can see my weakness in contrast to your steadfast faith in the Lord.May God bless you and speak to us through your blogs and sermons.
Your message today seemed to be special to me.I thought it was directed only to me, nobody else.Please pray for us.
As to Amy we are praying for her.We know that our Faithful Lord will heal her soon without the need for any further surgery.Jesus said” ask and it shall be given to you.”
Sam & Zack.
We have an anchor that keeps the soul / steadfast and sure while the billows roll / fastened to the Rock which cannot move / grounded firm and deep in the Saviour’s love
Dear Jeff,
I am here in Mobile, AL with family getting ready to leave with a niece and nephew headed to Orlando, and after spending a day talking about my Meadow family and you, Amy, Deborah, your blog, your tweets, etc and sharing your first Sunday sermon in the pulpit after the accident, this morning before I pack the car, you are on my mind. I am feeling very heavy for you right now. I am almost in tears, and then I look to my anchor and ask why am I feeling as I do. I am reminded to stay focused on the Lord; I am reminded we are to share one another’s burdens; I am reminded that our flesh is weak and pride is also my struggle. Jeff, I ha so much respect and love for you, a transparent preacher, a pastor who searches his own heart and acknowledges his struggle. Yes, God is our anchor, the solid rock on which we must lean. I will continue to keep the Lyle family in my prayers.
Love,
While God gives me incredible blessings in my wife and my children, and wants be to be faithful to him and them, they are to be second in my focus. THAT is so hard for me as I live daily and want so badly to rear my children properly and to that end would do anything for them. My God given family cannot ever take the place of my God given soul saved eternity. Truly a struggle and hopefully one that He is pleased with and one that we can all keep in the correct focus.
I have been meditating this week on Christ our rock. He is not a little rock that we can hold in our hand. He is the stone mountain of our lives. He is our mighty GOD who will always draw us close to him thru this walk on earth. Their is a peace in our heart knowing HE is completly in control of all of life. My prayers are that GOD continues to give you power to preach boldly his word to this lost and dying world. MK