There are a lot of things wrong with our country today but I would like to take a moment and highlight something that is wise, good and profitable with the good ol’ US of A. In America a man can only have one wife – this is a really good thing. In all fifty states bigamy has been illegal for over a hundred years, ever since Congress backed Utah into a legal corner and told them to downsize their bridal suites. I am in favor of this law, primarily because I have only witnessed a few men that can provide the kind of consistent love and care that 1 wife is afforded by God. Start dividing up those precious resources among multiple wives and the marital wells run dry pretty quick… and somebody suffers. Let me share quick word to all the married women out there by utilizing a blurb from Genesis about a lady named Leah who shared her husband, Jacob, with her own sister, Rachel. Prepare for dysfunction and then deliverance.
“So Jacob went in to Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah, and served Laban for another seven years. When the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. And Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben, for she said, “Because the Lord has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me.” She conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Because the Lord has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also.” And she called his name Simeon. Again she conceived and bore a son, and said, “Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” Therefore his name was called Levi. And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” Therefore she called his name Judah. Then she ceased bearing.” – Genesis 29:30-35 {ESV}
This is a great passage on so many levels and I hope to preach it at Meadow sometime before the end of this year. Jacob originally hoped to marry the prettier sister, Rachel and handpicked her over her older sibling, Leah, who is described earlier in the chapter as being less attractive. He was tricked by Rachel and Leah’s father and ended up spending the wedding night (presumably in a VERY dark tent) with Leah who then became his wife after consummation. Jacob felt a little ripped-off and commenced to agreeing with his new father-in-law to work his land for another seven years in order to get Rachel thrown into the deal as wife #2. Going beyond all the cultural differences about marriage and the roles of husbands and wives between then and now, I would like to say that what stands out most to me is a brokenhearted, rejected and devalued Leah…who did absolutely nothing to deserve the humiliating treatment of being the second choice of Jacob. What follows is what makes this account so interesting to me:
“When the Lord saw that Leah was hated, He opened her womb…”
God went above and beyond for Leah and the bible says that He did so because of the mistreatment she received from her husband and sister-wife. How seldom do we consider that the rejection, shame, criticism or mistreatment we receive from others might serve as an open-door for God to show up big in our lives. God sometimes moves on our behalf as direct compensation for the lack of affirmation which might have/should have come from others. Unrequited love is one of the most painful things to have in our lives – we sometimes give ourselves to those who do not esteem us valuable. Leah was willing to give her best but Jacob wanted something better. She could not be his favorite and this broke her heart. Yet God did something that, in their culture, was a sign of incredible favor. God had made Rachel pretty…but He made Leah fruitful. Leah was blessed with four sons to provide her husband while Rachel was not allowed to bear Jacob any children at this time. Rachel pleased Jacob’s eye but Leah solidified his heritage. Yet the story goes even deeper. Go back and read what Leah said after the birth of each son. Her vulnerable heart is revealed in that she believed each son she provided Jacob would finally cause the man to honor her. Yet with each birth it would seem that Leah never received that love from her man. Finally, when her last son was born she named him Judah which signifies praise. Why is this significant? Her life was no longer about seeking approval from her husband. Her life became all about loving and rejoicing in the God who lavishly loved her in spite of her having a spouse who apparently did not. Ladies, please know that your husband was never meant to be your Savior. He is to be good and will give an answer to his God for the job he did as your mate (remember this with me, fellas). Yet that man of yours was never meant to be the source of your completion or the object of your worship. God alone wants that place in your life and my hope is that you will prove to be a daughter of Leah and accept that you may never be valued as the prettiest, most cherished, highly honored or perpetual priority of someone here below.
But you are a daughter of the Most High God and He thinks that you are precious and beautiful in His sight. Hold your head up today and name this new day Judah because the God who gave it to you is worthy of your praise.
Really loved this. Especially “your husband was not meant to be your savior.” I think we forget that sometimes. Thanks!
I’ve been struggling with this very thing myself for several years now – feeling that my husband should be my savior (as well as God of course). Reading this has helped me to understand better.
I feel like I maybe a cross between Leah & Rachel – I’m still trying to figure it out. I am not barren – but yet I have no children…..and my clock is ticking loud & fast.
Thanks Pastor Lyle for posting this. I feel encouraged & am calling this new day today Judah! I have renewed faith & hope today.
And if im not mistaken, whose line did Jesus come through? Leah’s not Rachels. Pretty significant that a huge part of her life was spent striving for significance and love , having no idea that the Messiah would come through her. This being a huge lesson, that there very well could be a way bigger plan going on, way past our lives sorrows.
Yaaaaaay Jeff! What an awesome encouragement to all women who have been left holding the bag of debris from men who refuse God’s direction.
Whether physically battered or bearing their adultery or simply being ignored, that pain runs deeper than any human can heal.
My own wedding vows were to God and my Groom…to keep God above him in priority. For me to expect my husband to be my God secures only heartbreak. A more stringent application would call it idolatry.
I am lucky to have a good man as a husband. But a good man is not equal to God. Though not a nun, I regard God as my first love. He can be counted upon.
…”He is a husband to the widow.”
Claudia gave me an application of this passage in Isaiah 8 years ago that remains with me. To be widowed does not always mean the husband physically died. Circumstances have improved certainly, but being married to a human leaves any woman at times feeling alone. God never leaves, so best to keep Him in His rightful place.