I wanted to take a rare moment to give a shout-out to all of you gossips out there. I’m always writing to a presumed audience of people who love Jesus, love His church and love setting a righteous example of unity in the eyes of non-believers. But not today – today I am writing to you! If You are not a gossip but know one or fifty who might benefit from these helpful hints, feel free to forward them my advice below so they will be better equipped in their commitment to contention, their development of divisiveness and their steadfastness in strife. Here’s some advice for all of you who are earning a PhD in gossip:
1. Never think about your testimony for Christ – that will only serve to slow you down and make you think about what you are doing. You need to completely disregard your reputation for Christ if you are going to grow in gossip.
2. Please, whatever you do, disregard any notion of what damage your words are doing. You need to be free from conviction, integrity and love if you are going to be among the few, the proud and proficient as you throw down deeper roots of disunity.
3. Do not, under any circumstance, believe Proverbs 6:16-19 which unapologetically declares that God hates people who cause disunity among the brethren. Harden your heart now on that verse so the fear of God doesn’t get a hold of you!
4. Cultivate the ability to shrug off that little thing Jesus said about giving an account for every word you speak. I’m sure the Master was exaggerating so don’t let the Day of Reckoning get in your way.
5. Abandon the pursuit of praise because your mouth cannot be used for praise of God and gossip against people at the same time. Gossip is a full time commitment and you cannot allow God-honoring speech water down your verbal venom.
6. Work hard at shading the truth, ignoring the truth and denying the truth. Truth really frustrates the gossiping process so you need to bulldoze your way into a mindset wherein telling lies is perfectly acceptable.
7. If you are really going to become skilled in this area you need to learn how to cloak your gossip in a way that alleviates your conscience from any twinge of guilt. Frame up your gossip with an aroma of concern, or make it into a prayer request. Master the ability to preface your gossip with, “Don’t mention this to anyone else but I really need to share something.” Once you learn to do these things, gossip will come more naturally to you.
8. Waste no time thinking of how your gossip affects the people you are talking about. Their spouses and children need not concern you either. Commit wholeheartedly to that impulse within you to spread something scandalous.
9. Be wise not to hang out to often with other gossips. Some of them are better at this than you are and they will soon enough be talking negatively about you. You need to be the best at this in order to stay in the game so, although you are a gossip, don’t seek to hang out with others because they are pretty sorry people.
10. Never be satisfied with just being a gossip! There’s a whole world of slander, defamation and accusation available to you if you will just remain committed to the plan.
Your friend,
Jeff
I really appreciate your blogs Jeff. This one is one that I have been praying about and letting God remind me that when I am tempted to gossip, to just keep it to myself. I find that when I have denied myself
sharing a juicy tidbit….later I am so relieved that that is one sin the Lord stopped my tongue from “wagging”. It is one sin that seems to never leaves me in the temptation area, and thank the Lord He is helping me master it.
Thank you for convicting my heart once again regarding gossip. I have been working on the concept of pausing before I speak or judge. A friend gave me a good guide: before I say or repeat something ask;is it true, is it kind and, is it necessary? Usually the answer is always no! Also, the verse about praising God with the same tongue that speaks slander against my brothers is one to remember. God bless you, Jeff, you truly have Gods ear and He has yours.
I have been guilty of causing strife with just gossipy thoughts….as always, God reveals my heart and there are times I search for a leaf to cover it.
I suppose it is progress that I endeavor to keep my mouth shut while God heals the thoughts. However, I have been told “the Holy Spirit offers more than simple restraint.”
Excellent post Jeff!
Good one!